Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Rainbow

压力, 对我来说,到底是什么?短短的两天,就发觉这个月的每个周末都满了。其实,连我自己也开始不懂为什么了。为什么会那么忙?
开学了两天,也越来越发觉自己真的很敏感。为什么我一直觉得朋友对我冷淡了呢?到底是我的问题还是不是呢?
我也真的越来越觉得跟他们缺少了些话题。是否,他们都觉得我忙,连邀约也少了呢?
















“告诫”

我从来都不是能够处理危机的人;我也不是个能独立完成所有事的人。一个需要朋友撑腰,一个需要朋友支持的我,能够完成大事吗?
现在的我,缺少了凝聚力。身为一个领队,真的非常需要把大家都聚集在一块。在一个团体里,虽然有不少的支持,但别忘了,一个老鼠屎就会把大家拖累。也许你觉得我不够资格,也许你觉得这个活动不比你的大。但是,对我来说,我绝不想它就这样毁在我的手里。这, 也许就是我想你们证明我自己的方式吧!

时间飞逝,对于现在的自己,我也越来越懒惰为自己解释了。就算被别人误会,我也能够释怀了。也许,我真的开始看开了吧!
现在的我,也能接受别人的批评。虽然还是有那么一点的伤心难过,起码,我还是尝试告诫自己了。虽然很难,但还是该学会了吧!















我知道,现在有很多人都在看着我失败。常常不知觉的告诉自己,没有外表不用紧,最重要就是你能成功给别人看! 当别人越看你不起时,你就必须给自己更多的勇气爬上去!就算前面的路没了,你也必须去找另一条路吧!想一想,会有多少人站在另一边为你鼓掌呢?

有个朋友对我说:“真的很感动,感动你会这样的关心我~” 其实,在听到他的这句话时, 我也非常的开心。也许,他是真的了解我这个人吧!朋友真的不用多,最重要就是那些朋友都了解你这个人。

雨后,都会天晴吧?
在面对这些接二连三的事情打击时, 多么希望能够在转身的时候能够看到久违的彩虹。
也许,这就是为什么现在的我越来越喜欢五颜六色了吧
可能,就因为我生命出现了太多的黑与白,无可避免的黑与白
这,可能就是我潜意识中 一直希望的世界吧!
















凡是,都该换个角度去思考吧!


Tuesday, 18 September 2012

欺骗

时间 · 到底过得快吗?  真的没有人会知道 · 连续的几个礼拜 · 每天都睡不到 · 几个小时 · 每每都把自己逼到最后一秒才来用工。有谁知道,到底有用吗?
这次的考试,完全不像之前那样。一直接到你们的电话,知道吗? 我真的快疯了!

之前,因为你 · 我欺骗了妈妈
到现在,2年了 。 我都还不敢告诉他。
你知道这种感觉多难受吗?
老妈对我的好 · 关心 · 爱 ·
换来的,确实我这个女儿的背叛 · 的欺骗
我真的不知道 · 因为你 · 我变到怎样了?
她 · 是我这一生中最爱的女人 ·
没有妈妈 · 我真的什么都不是

哪里知道 · 现在
你却要我继续的做
继续的骗人
对于另一个· 她
你有我开始骗了
每次听到他向我说那些话的时候
我真的很想 很想告诉他
你到底是怎样的人!
我真的不想在欺骗他了
一个好好的女人
就给你糟蹋了

放心
过了今天
我就会回家告诉妈咪了!
我一定不会再骗他了

而另一个 · 她
我也会选择告诉他这一切的
如果你还是不该
别怪我
我只是为你积点阴德
老爸
曾现在还能改
就改吧!
不要再继续玩火了

我真的不知要怎样就你了

Friday, 14 September 2012

英文 · 不是我的菜

最近
真的太压力了
如果没有压力
我也不会到这里抒发我的感情吧!

不知为什么
最近
他们好像跟我离得越来越远了
我真的希望
会是我只得想太多
朋友
我真的不能没有你们

也许
这就是我对于朋友的感情吧
不过
是寄托
是友情
我真的
都不能失去他们

明天的 英文考试
相信我
真的 不知要读些什么
一直以来
对我来说
最烂的英文
再加上 那么低的分数
明天
我到底需要加多少油呢?
我真的不希望
考试前 什么准备都没有啊!
这不是我要的考试

我重来 都没那么无助过
但是
又有谁会理你呢?
朋友大家都个忙各的
剩下的
就只有自己就自己了吧
但是
英文真的不是我的强项
话说
小妹我说英文还好
但是
对于文法 我却是一窍不懂
到底
要怎样
才能 让我的语法进步呢?

英文 真的很难
愿天保佑
保佑我的英文
真的能过
就算低空飞过
我也开心了~

【保庇】

Thursday, 13 September 2012

To My Daddy

Am i too BAD to you?
Dad, i know.. 
I shouldn't do that for you..

Always think of how bad you are
But i know
You  are still my beloved DADDY
Feeling sorry for not wishing you 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY'

Hope you will know
I will always be your daughter
Although i cant support you right now
But
I hope i can try my best on my study
Graduate from here with FLYING COLOR
I hope 
I can be the proud of you
I hope
My life 
With Mummy, Nicholas, Joanne, GongGong
can be better after i have graduate

Hope 
Are the main objective for me
To stay strong
To work hard 
To study well until this moment

Sorry for that
Not wishing you for your 48's Birthday
I know your life also tough
I know you still loving me

But daddy
Please don't me anymore reasons 
To hate you
I really don't like such feeling anymore
I want you to be my PERFECT DADDY
I want you to be the one who SUPPORT me till the end of the day

Not dare to comment for you 
Not dare to message right now to say 'happy birthday' for you
Even not dare to Skype you for it
Please apologize me for this


Trying hard to memorize all those things for my exam 
Thanks dad <3
Thanks for your call just now
Feeling warm for what your tell me
Hope it is TRUTH
Hope can see the rainbow after the rain 

*can understand right?


Now, keep on listening to this songs..

Love the lyrics so much
Hope to be as tough as the lyrics

Hope can fly, jump.... to reach my dream!!
C'mon, nothing can make me down.. 
God, i believe in YOU 


Believe that God won't close all my windows and doors!!



Tuesday, 11 September 2012

暂时 · 逃离

连续考了3科
面对的
不是平时有的压力
这一次
终觉得 
不懂怎样做都考不好似的
而且
感觉也越来越强烈
我真的好想变到很懒了啊
到底 怎样呢?

唉
不想那么多了
今天考完了 Physiology Psychology
其实
我还是会做的
但是
不懂为什么
心里还是那么的忐忑
放不下心呢?

幸好
有朋友的陪伴
晚上
就去IPOH 唱歌了

第一次去的歌房
感觉还是很不错
唱完了
好像还不够似的

【我就是爱唱歌】
p/s:虽然不是很好听啦~
with pretty girl..JiaYi

Yng and JiaYi

my dearest friend [ WeiYng ]

Driver today -芝麻 


再加上
糖水街的牛腩面
一级棒啊!
哈哈

好了
今天就放纵下吧!
明天
再继续努力!

晚安~

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Stay Strong · Be Positive


Is 6am in the morning
I still awake
not because of INSOMNIA
is all because is A LOT OF THINGS I HAVEN'T SETTLE

Exam will be on next Tuesday
Study nothing but wasting time on my dinner + supper
Whatever la!!
Date many long-time-no-meet friends
with the reason to meet them up
BUT
only myself have the ONLY answer 
Is all because
I don't want to face the reality anymore
I know that i need to hold the book for long time
No one can save me out
I hate this subject
I hate of understand the anatomy parts of body
Is all out of my control
How you want us to understand thousand of research 
by million of people 
with only 1 semester
Is kinda FUNNY you know?!!!

Time to stay beside with friends 
Always is the happiest moments for me
Talking, Gossiping and starring at each others
Sometimes, you will not know why you will laugh suddenly when looking them
Sometimes, you will really need their supports
Moving out from hometown
Staying at a new place
No one is important than a friends 
Appreciate all my friends a lot!!
Muack <3<3


Don't think too much..  

I need some rest now...

Physiology Psychology
Please be with me
Let me understand you
Let me be your friend

STAY STRONG

Good Morning :)

Friday, 7 September 2012

Sharing ♥ With Love

Degree Life :  Year 2 Semester 1
It's gonna end soon!!
You know what
I really learnt a lot of things this sem... 
When read through the reflective journal of myself.. 
I really appreciate a lot that i had this chance to really open my heart 
Share all my inner feeling to my dear group mates
Is really hard for me
I already try to keep it in my heart for a long time..
Thank for all my dear friends

With Grace ♥ Someone who help me a lot!!

With PS Tan ♥ Someone who treat me like her little sister

With Sam ♥ Someone who always gossip with me

With ZongYan ♥ Someone who so warm-hearted 
With Kar Poi ♥ Someone who had an argue with me before


This time
I gonna post it at here..
As a reflective for myself
I wanna to make it as a new insight for me
I wanna to move forwards..
I wanna to have a happier life

#Journal 1: Different children have different positions around the tree
I can understand that I am on the way to achieve my dreams. 
Choosing to become the child who keeps on climbing up the tree in the picture, it unconsciously shows that I’m the one who is not satisfied by my life now. 
I will force myself to achieve even higher than now. 
I’m not the one who can easily satisfied with my life. 
I don’t like to be a follower or order by someone. 
I noticed that once my friends rejects my ideas or suggestions, my emotion will change very quickly and it had made me angry to my friends easily without any valid reasons. 
So I know that the only way for me to achieve my own dreams is to 
CONTROL MY EMOTIONS

♥ Love Letter ♥ Giving to my dearest Groupmates ♥
♥ Full of Love ♥


#Journal 2: Sand Therapy
 I had chosen a lion and giraffe to represent myself .  
【Lion = Powerful】
 I understand that myself is the one who never give up easily for all the works that I doing right now. I will pay all my attention and effort in order to make it succeed.  
【Giraffe  = Long neck allow me to view all the things from a wide perspectives】
 I think that all the decisions that I carried out right now is not as perfect enough because I still can’t think of all the consequences for every steps that I do.  
【Situation = Seaside】
 There are a lot of challenges in my life that I can’t estimate, it just like the sea which we can’t estimate the weather. We will not know when will have the tsunami, the storm or any others changes. 

#Journal 3: The Most Important and Terrible Things For Me
【The most important thing  = being in a leadership position】
For me, I enjoyed my life when being agreed by others. So, I will make sure myself always stay in the top position and it is the only way for me to prove myself towards others. 
【The most terrible thing = being ignored by others】
I know that I’m the one who scare to be alone and being abandoned by my friends. Once I away from my friends, I will think that the way other judge me will be totally different. Perhaps it is because they are the fully support for me when I am away from my family and they are the one who can help me to solve all the obstacles in my life. 

Our Drawing... Expressing our INNER world

This is MINE...


#Journal 4 : Timeline of Life
【The most threatening event = Divorce between my parents】
I had kept it in my inner heart and I also feel shame to share those things out to my friends. 
It had made me remembered back those happy moments with my parents. 
I still remembered how good of my father to buy whatever things that I want for me. 
UNFORTUNATELY, divorce had happened on them and all the happy moments had become the past memories for me. 
Then, I also can understand all the important people that had teach me a lot during my lifetime. 
I also can open my heart to share all those things to my friends. 
It is important for me because I believe that we shouldn’t have any secret between our friends. 
The bond between us also become stronger because there are many things we had share and  it really help us a lot to understand our friends.